SOTM 22: Interrogation Room

31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[a] 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 5:31-32

We all know that sinking feeling when into the room walks that certain someone that we are convinced would be a better fit for our honey. It sticks with us all day, we can't get it out of our mind. We usually keep it to ourselves but sometimes we reach a breaking point. We are sitting on the couch cozied up with our honey and all of a sudden we turn the nice romantic warmth of our apartment into an interrogation room. "you totally like ______ don't you?" We blurt out. "Do you think _____ is a better match for you?" Now imagine if your honey's response was "I don't know." I don't imagine that would go over real well. What we want is for our honey to place us side by side with ______ and then tear them apart while singing our praises.

But I actually think that "I don't know, I don't think about anyone but you" is the better and more comforting answer. Because the other kind of answer requires us to do a comparison. It requires that we actually think in a "check-them-out sort of way" about ______. Even if we win the comparison game this time, there is that looming doubt about the next time, or the next. What keeps a relationship going isn't superior compatibility but single-mindedness. At the end of the day, I don't think I need to know that I am the best suited for my honey, just that I am the only one she thinks about.

SOTM 21: Divorce a Tragedy?

31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[a] 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

-Mt. 5:31-33

The tragedy of divorce is that it is the result of a failure to find that for which we all are most longing. We have no greater desire than for true friendship and intimacy. But more and more people today are foregoing even the pursuit of marriage or only give it a half-hearted attempt at best. I think we are just chicken. Fear of failure, fear of getting hurt holds us back. Maybe that intimacy we all crave is possible but it's so rare. It doesn't seem worth the risk. We take what could be extremely beautiful and water it down in casual relationships. We fear that in its purest form it might be too hot and we might get burned. So we live bland, safe, mediocre lives. Divorce isn't a big deal because we don't let marriage become a big deal. If we did, divorce would be tragic. And we don't want to put ourselves in the position of that ever becoming a possibility.

Dream Big

Rev. 1:5b

-"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood,"

Do we really believe that sin is our problem?--That life will really be better off if we walk free from it? We dream about the future--where we'd like to be 10 years from now. We dream big of promotions, starting a business, boats and sound systems, weddings, holidays with the family, traveling to Italy or Israel or Istanbul (you'll have to ask me about that one). But how often do we dream about walking free from sin? How often do we look ahead to 10 years from now and imagine ourselves walking with victory over the pride that hinders our relationships at work, the selfishness that kills our marriages, the envy and lust that eat away at us from the inside out? This verse tells us these chains that rob us of God's joy are ones from which we've been set free. Why do we not dream more about the working out of this freedom?

Note: I haven't abandoned the Sermon on the Mount its just. . .A.D.D.

"Fireproof" Review

When it comes to art, I'm picky. God is as much honored by artistically sensitive expression as he is by the content being expressed. Oftentimes "Christian" art, in an attempt to make sure that the "point" is clearly communicated, runs recklessly over the crucial artistic element of subtlety. "Fireproof" is certainly guilty of being overly didactic. It's almost like there was a list of principles the director was checking off, making sure he got them all in no matter how cheesy and George Lucasesque it forced the dialogue to be. As a result, there were moments when the characters embodied the very inauthenticity that nonChristians are so critical of in real life. Subtlety is part and parcel not only of good art but also of authentic living. When we fail to acknowledge this in our lives and the lives of others, we come across as disingenuous.

However, I'll come right out and admit that I bawled my eyes out. Fireproof will be criticized for being overly simplistic. And to a certain degree this criticism is warranted. But at the end of the day the central message it was trying to communicate, the central message of Christianity, really is very simple. That the fullness of life (and the key to a successful marriage) is found in the paradox that whoever wants to be first must be last and the servant of all--that we are able to love because God first loved us-- is not merely the kind of substance that can grip you for 2 hours in the theater, but the kind that should absolutely change your life. "Fireproof" drives this home. If you and your date are just looking to be entertained or be familiar with what they'll be talking about at the Oscars, there are definitely better options than "Fireproof." (Though it definitely kept my attention and had many good moments.) But if you want to help ensure that you and your date will even be going out 10 years from now, I suggest you see this movie.

SOTM 20: Black, White, and Gray

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[a] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

Mt. 5:27-30

(part 4)

The problem with rules and regulations is that they are at once both the lifeblood of a stable society and also the heart of Pharisaical legalism. Some rules are simply pragmatic. I flew to California last week. I was given a airline ticket that assigned me to a specific boarding group and was asked to board accordingly. That's a good rule. We'd need rules like that even if we weren't a bunch of sinners. It just makes things run smoothly. Churches also have to establish policies. For example, my church had to make sure that I really was a Christian before hiring me as a pastor. In fact, not only do I need to be a Christian, but not a "nominal one." The challenge of course, is that true religion is religion of the heart, which can't be assessed through a series of simple litmus tests. Ultimately, only God knows if I've really declared him as Lord. Not even my family, closest friends, or fiancee, can know with certainty. But decisions have to be made, pastors have to be hired, etc. So we are forced to come up with easy and quick ways of guestimating who's in and who's out. It's unavoidable. But we must only draw these lines when WE ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO. The problem with much of religion is that the easy thing to do is to set up a complete system of litmus tests so that we can easily organize our chaotic world. This is what the Pharisees did. They figured that as long as they followed their system of rules, they would know that they were OK. But again Jesus tells us that at once it is both much more complicated than that and also much simpler. It is complicated because the complex combination of a heart that is constantly changing as forces of good and evil weigh in on it, along with the fact that the state of one's heart will manifest itself differently depending on the individual's personality and cultural background, make it difficult for us to assess anyone's spiritual condition with precision or certainty. Yet at the same time Jesus makes it clear to us that actually it's all very simple. Nobody "has it down." Every single one of us, whether we sport a Bertrand Russell or WWJD bumper sticker is (by virtue of the fact that we've all lusted in the heart) in desperate need of the grace of God. Jesus' religion of the heart shows that virtually everything else is gray and ultimately beside his very black-and-white central point.

SOTM 19: The Christian Lifestyle Tension

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[a] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

Mt. 5:27-30
(part 3)

In the Third Century, Origen of Alexandria took this passage to heart and castrated himself. He took Jesus quite literally, believing that if a part of your body leads you into sin you should cut it off. We are at once struck by these words of Jesus and wonder what to do with them. Common sense leads us to recognize that this is hyperbole--a device whereby you exaggerate the point to drive it home. Jesus is telling us that sin is so serious and destructive that we must do whatever it takes to keep ourselves from falling into it. "Cut off your feet" really means--don't go to places that might lead you to sinful compromise. What's key to all of this is to note that the conditional nature of the phrase makes its application relative to the listener. If watching certain movies leads you to think and act in inappropriate ways, then don't go to them. If it doesn't, then there is liberty. If listening to certain music leads you down the wrong path, then don't listen to it. If it doesn't, then there is liberty. The daily Christian life is living in the tension of enjoying all of God's creation while at the same time avoiding our many perversions of it and seeking the discernment to know the difference.

SOTM 18: Seriousness of Sin

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[a] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

Matthew 5:27-30
(Part 2)

Many people reject Christianity because they think it is irrelevant. Whenever someone comes to believe something, it never happens in a vacuum. Usually, you come to believe something not only because you have found its tenets ring true but also because you identify socially and culturally with others who believe the same thing. This is why those who grew up on Metallica have such a problem identifying with a religion where people get together and sing with hymnals and an organ. So it's important for us to all assess what is central and unchanging to Christianity and what is merely a cultural expression of an unchanging truth. The call to worship God is unchanging--the use of hymnals and organs can come or go.
Mariners is going to start a Saturday service with the specific goal of reaching a different segment of our culture. So there will be elements of the service that will be different from other churches and even from our own Sunday morning services.
But this passage identifies something that simply doesn't change--the seriousness of sin. Come January, when we launch our new service, I might try to be as cool and hip as possible (which will take some work)--maybe I'll go to the mall and see what the mannequins at The Gap are wearing (I think The Gap is still cool, at least it was when "Friends" was popular). But what will not change is the message that Sin is serious business. This message will undoubtedly not be received well by some. We don't like being told that there is anything we shouldn't do. But to stand offended at the thought that our lifestyle habits should be guided by moral principles is as ridiculous as being offended that certain eating habits affect our health. Who gets mad at God for the fact that eating McDonalds makes you fat? Jesus is giving us a similar warning in this passage. An undisciplined thought life can rob you of the joy God intends for you and destroy relationships. I think one reason Jesus uses the example of lust to discuss the seriousness of sin is because its subtle deception can instantly blow up into devastating actions. If you eat McDonalds daily you will slowly but surely get fat. People will see it happen at every stage right before their eyes. If you allow your thought life to impinge upon your daily life it may go unnoticed until it blows up in adultery. No "small" sin can so quickly lead to actions of devastating proportion as can lust. So Jesus uses it to highlight the seriousness of sin. Just as keeping a body healthy physically requires disciplined daily attention, so does the soul require a constant awareness of how it is being exercised.

SOTM 17: Sex

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[a] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Mt. 5:27-30.

I have a non-Christian friend who really likes church. He likes the people, he likes the music, he likes the messages. He might even say he NEEDS church. The problem is that it seems to him like God doesn't want him to have any fun. He likes the freedom to get hammered, do this, do that, and sleep with whomever. And his objection seems quite reasonable. Not only does Jesus not want us sleeping around, he doesn't even want us looking around! Many couples, though recognizing the negative impact sleeping around would have on their marriage, see little wrong with a look here, a look there, maybe even a video or a magazine. "Boys will be boys," says a friend of mine whose husband likes pornography.

But consider this for a moment. What if it's totally the opposite? What if rather than trying to stop you from having fun God wants you to have the most fun having sex you could possibly imagine? Read Song of Solomon. There are some passages that I'd literally feel embarrassed to quote in this blog. That's right--I'm censoring the Bible. It might be too much for your virgin ears. God created sex. And so he knows how you can get the most out of it. And here's how: sex is inextricably connected with commitment. In fact, the whole ordeal-- making out, cuddling, etc. will never be as much fun as it's supposed to be if it's just about having fun. It's all about commitment. This is why the question "How far is too far?" is not the right question. The question is "are you committed?" I don't mean sort of committed. I mean--COMMITTED. If there is any question in your mind that this might not be forever--it won't be nearly as much fun as it could be--and is supposed to be. This is why even looking lustfully at a woman to whom you are not committed is unhealthy. God doesn't want you to settle for a lesser fun than you are supposed to have.

So don't tell me God doesn't want you to have fun. If you're married, break out Song of Solomon and have some fun. Put down your Cosmo article and take a sex tip from the one who invented it: Sex + Commitment = FUN!!!